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Such is the power of women's underwear over a man that it will work its magic wherever and whenever he wears it - no matter whether that's in the intimacy of an erotic encounter or in the more mundane surroundings of his office. Depending on the context in which it is being worn, however, different aspects of such feminine attire come to the fore - in the husband, his lingerie is undoubtedly a sexual affair, serving to inflame his passions, but elsewhere its effects can be rather more chaste. The garments in question may be exactly the same - the difference depends solely on why a man is wearing them. It's one thing for a man to wear a bra and panties whilst engaged in or anticipating intimate activity, but quite another for him to do so in its absence. In contrast to making feminization, lingerie discipline involves having your husband don such feminine attire for the more general effect it has on his attitude and behaviour beyond your lovemaking, encouraging a more submissive state of mind in panties quite removed from the bedroom. Although it's difficult to completely divest such garments of their erotic connotations, their sexual allure takes second stage when they're worn for the purposes of lingerie discipline - the focus is now on the wear of submission they engender in the male wearer.

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Why i make my husband wear panties: a guide to the female led relationship

Search Search. Menu Sections. I have known for a long time that my husband has a panties fetish, but he has never been open to me about it.

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Now that all our children have left home, he has been dropping hints about including it in our sex life. I know that he wears them on a regular basis although he never does it in front of me.

Chapter 4: lingerie discipline

But wanting to include it in our sex life is making me uneasy. Mary replies: Fetishes are quite difficult to deal with, because what is very appealing to one person is totally abhorrent to another.

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Indeed, in all my years counselling, I only once came across a couple who were both quite happy for him to use female underwear and clothes. In fact, we joked about who would wear the wedding dress at the approaching ceremony.

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They were attending me for something quite different; the subject of underwear came up in the conversation. They simply like the silky feel on their bodies and get a sense of relaxation when they have them on.

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But others find them very arousing and get a much stronger erection and ejaculation because of having worn them, perhaps during the day and looking forward to the evening. Your husband is dropping hints because he is trying to see how the land lies now that the children have left the family home.

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I think the best thing you can do the next time he raises the subject is to ask him to tell you exactly what he has in mind. He will probably ask that you allow him to wear the panties while you are having foreplay. Give him the benefit of a full discussion and if you feel that this is something that you simply cannot allow, then tell him that you are sorry but it is not for you.

Dear mary: now that we are empty nesters, my husband wants to wear women’s panties during sex

So to reiterate — you should never have to do anything in any sort of sexual encounter that makes you feel uncomfortable and he will have to respect that. Be sure to emphasise when you are speaking with him that you love him and appreciate what a good man he is, and tell him all the things that you feel happy about in the relationship. Rather than him feeling rejected, you want him to know that he is appreciated.

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Sometimes a fetish can have far-reaching and unexpected consequences. However, he unfortunately suffered a massive heart attack and died while she was out of town.

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When she got the phone call telling her of his demise she was, naturally, totally shocked. To her immense relief, from the point of view of both discretion and privacy for her family, she discovered he had not.

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All correspondence will be treated in confidence. Close 'I have known for a long time that my husband has a panties fetish'. Facebook Twitter Whatsapp. Facebook Twitter. He is a good man with a good job but I do not know how to handle this. Video of the Day. Dear Mary: I cannot have penetrative sex with my boyfriend.

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Why is my libido so low? How can I get over this abuse?

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Dear Mary: I have sexual fantasies about my sister, even when I'm with my wife Ask Brian: I found my boyfriend and his best friend sweaty and alone together - are they having a gay affair?