I'm a decent-looking college student with below average social skills looking to become more socially skilled and meet girls.
Tonight I'm planning to go to a frat party by myself I can get in because my roommate knows brothers there but he doesn't party in an attempt to practice building social skills and meet girls. However, I'm not sure how to start a conversation with a girl. I go to a huge school, transferred in about a year ago, and don't have a lot of friends due to my lack of social skills so chances are really good I won't come across people I already know. Also most people I do know go to house parties which I never get invited to again due to lack of my social skills and social circle.
Thus I'll be depending on making cold approaches. I don't have social anxiety, just self confidence issues, trouble initiating a conversation, and holding it in an entertaining way, especially so with cold approaches. I considered starting a conversation by mentioning something about the party, but I can never find anything worth mentioning. Every party is more or less the same as every other frat party.
Given this, my main questions are. How about a girl who seems to be by herself not really doing anything?
What is the best way to hold a conversation once you get past the basics who are you, where are you from, what's your major, etc. In the rare event I actually connect with a girl, how do I make my intentions clear that I want to get laid I have been friend zoned with every girl I have talked to. It would still help me tremendously if you guys could give a sample dialogue just to give me an idea of how these conversations go.
TL;DR: Socially challenged guys wants tips to initiate a conversation with girls at a frat party by making cold approaches.
5 types of girls at frat parties
The odds are going to be against you at a frat party, just saying. Everybody basically knows everybody but you. Frat parties are good for guys in the fraternity. Hi again bro! I realize my reply was pretty shit and didn't give you much but this was the last post I read before going to bed and I wanted to comment on how much you overcomplicate this stuff. I know the party is over now but think about all of this next time. Here's a more detailed answer for you bro.
My girlfriend goes to frat parties without me and i'm worried.
Before I start I wanna say that I have absolutely no exeperience with frat paries and I have no idea what they are as I dont live in the US, but this is what Im thinking in general: It sounds like girls are something you are very frustrated by and im hoping this will help you out.
First off, like I said, you are making this way harder and more pressure than it actually is. Girls are exactly just as fucking weird as you and me. They like to joke about random shit and be childish. They are not.
However, even though your question is basic, it is something that a lot of guys struggle with and overcomplicate. Dont worry. Everyone does before they start getting better with girls. You can talk about whatever the fuck you want. WHAT you say is absolutely not important.
Frat parties - having problems with getting girls
The one thing that creates attraction more than anything is social status. The value she gives you.
What are you projecting onto her? Are you a cool, chilled guy? Does she instantly feel that you are a guy who are attracted by a lot of other girls. Do you have a lot of friends that likes you? This creates attraction more than anything else.
1 safety rule :do not drink anything from a non-sealed container that has not been under your control the entire time you are at the party.
You can talk about the most boring thing in the universe and she will be pretty fucking interested if she likes you. When it comes to conversations and what to actually say. But say whatever you want. You are not seeking for her approval if she likes you. Assume that she already likes you and act like she likes you. You are not trying to impress her, you are trying to find out if this pretty girl is something for you.
What I like to do is just be weird.
Joke about random shit. Be childish. She will basically find anything you say cool and fun, as long as you act that way. If you are needy and not sure what you are doing, she will notice and not respond well. When people are out they are escaping their daily life to have fun and meet new people. In conclusion it does not matter what you say as long as you are flirting, escalating and things are moving forward towards your goal. If the girl finds you interesting she will also participate in the interaction and escalate with you.
A freshman girl’s guide to frat parties
She will invest in you. Read about what escalating means in pickup. You seem to overcomplicate if the girl is with their friends or other male friends, but yes, it can be hard sometimes if the friends hold her back.
You find a girl interesting, but she is with her two female friends. Then you naturally need to approach and talk with the all three of them. Still, you can communicate to the interesting girl that you like her the best, by using your eyes and touching her the most. Her value compared to their value is very important for her.
Watch videos about this. Correct mindset is important : Hollywood and mainstream society suggests that there are only ONE of the 7 billion people on earth that fits perfect with YOU. This is not the truth. There is an infinite amount of hot girls out there who fill fit with you. One girl is not important as there are billions out there.
Remember this. However, it is easy to get stuck in one girl and think that she is the best in the world. Everyone does this from time to time. What you need is alternatives. You also know that if you loose all of them, 4 new will come along. It can take a time before you actually are in situations like this where you have a lot of girls that like you but this is the mindset that you want, and it makes everything easier. Only having one girl will eventually make you needy and you fuck it up.
Meeting girls at a frat party?
If you meet a girl you absolutely love. You meet other girls :D! This is probably the most important thing in pickup and basically life in general imo. Pickup and girls are a widly interesting and endless topic. Talk to girls and people wherever you are. If you see a cute girl anywhere during the day or night, simply go up there and talk to her!
Sounds scary, right? You got rejected? There are literally billions of girls out there and ONE rejected you. She will never know how awesome you are.
Everyone learn at different speeds. Implement the basics but find techniques that work for you. Nothing is more valuable than actual infield experience.
However, you should still push yourself to a degree and extending your comfort zone in social situations. This will have ups and downs, just like everything else in life. You will get better, then you might meet a wall and suck again, you might get a bad oneitis stuck in one girl, google it! But then you will climb up again and kick ass. You will get nervous to talk to girls at times.
Everyone is. Make the fear something positive. This fear is what makes you human and alive. Then it would be boring as shit.