Give your submissive time to get to know you and what you are like.
Concept of a dominant-submissive relationship
Finesse and subtlety are major elements of Dominance. Similarly, strength and gentleness go hand in hand. The sensitivity and awareness or lack thereof that you show in the real world is likely to be repeated in the playroom.
Keep in mind that your purpose as a submissive is to serve and to satisfy someone who will take into consideration the realisation of your fantasies. The timing must be right for both of you. You will have ample opportunities to show how good you are — and plenty of opportunities to make a fool of yourself.
You will have ample opportunity to show how good you are. Be willing, as well, to learn from other Dominants who may have a totally different perspective from yours. Try to approach by-now-familiar trips with an attitude of wonderment and discovery.
Be aware that everyone has her or his own personal style. Your partner has a right to know that. Be honest with yourself and take your submissive only to those levels at which you are completely in control of the situation. Safety should always be the first concern, taking priority over how hot a particular scene is.
Your Dominant expects it. Honesty about your wants, health concerns, and turn-offs is essential to a good scene. Lying or being less than candid can only lead to problems, as the Dominant will base the scene on inaccurate information. Besides causing problems, it can be dangerous. Remember that power, control, and sensitivity are the keys, not just the intensity of the stimulation. Be clear about what is fantasy, and has little to do with what works in practice. Know, to, the difference between reality and the fantasy world you see in books and magazines.
Your scene should be a creative synthesis of the needs and fantasies of both you and your submissive. Although, on the surface, your submissive is serving you, what actually is happening is that Dominant and submissive are serving each other. Earn the complete trust of your submissive and never violate or even threaten to violate that trust.
It is not just the physical realisation of your prior fantasies.
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When you trust your Dominant completely, let them know it, and let them guide you into new fantasies. Real people are wanted, not just cardboard images or macho stereotypes. Your Dominance enhances your whole existence. It does not cover up or substitute for other areas of your life — it is you.
Follow up on rules, expect obedience, and punish appropriately when it is called for. Be dependable and expect dependability. You have agreed to take the Dominant role — now take it!
This is the whole point. Let your Dominant take you over completely. Exchange information on your special needs before the scene starts, but once it starts be quiet! You have agreed to limitations of your own power. Stay within those limitations. Accept it gracefully.
Adding rules in a d/s (or m/s) relationship
Your Dominant has many things to be concerned with, including your safety and what turns you on. Be loyal and dependable and enjoy your role! The amount you sleep, your eating habits, your alcohol and drug intake, and everyday stress affect your response and endurance during a scene.
If you are unable to accept the responsibilities that entering into a scene requires, then say so. Never close the door to honest communications between the two of you. Always discuss the essentials when entering into a relationship such as experience, limits, needs, wants, likes and dislikes, health and well-being.
Do not assume the other in the relationship is a mind-reader; spell out roles and contracts and rules and agree them. Never close the door to continued communications; set aside times when you can both sit down and discuss things freely and without repercussions.
Im new to the idea of becoming a Dom! I have always had interest in this myself! So I want to explore,and learn all I can to see if this is something I can do and get into! The idea of becoming a Loving Dominant excites me as I do want the control element,and am not mean or abusive with women now!
Like Like. If you want to know more about the lifestyle of being in a BDSM relationship visit fetlife. There you can talk to people that have been Doms and subs for many years. I loved this essay! Thank you! I am a devoted sub to my husband master.
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Daily rules and how they work
Thank you. Like Liked by 1 person. Thank you for posting the article.
I recently met someone who I found out is a Dom. I am learning about being a submissive with him as my teacher. I hope that as we continue on this road together, he will want to make me his. But at this time, he does not. I look forward to this journey with him. Thank you for this article. I have recently started acting upon my dominant nature and found it to be quite liberating for the relationship several months. Just this month I have met a man who is a true submissive in his nature and I truly like him in all aspectsit inspired me to look for ways of becoming a bettermore experienced and creative domme.
I want to learn how to approach this and your article really cleared a few rules up! I hope your journey works out for the two of you. Might I also suggest The Loving Dominant? Thank you so much for this article! You are commenting using your WordPress. You are commenting using your Google. You D/s commenting using your Twitter .
You are commenting using your Facebook. Notify me of new comments via. Notify me of new posts via. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. Like this: Like Loading I have learned much in reading the 10 rules,and article! Thank You Immensely. Thanks again, Scout Bearclaw Like Like. Brilliant article.
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