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Threesomes top the charts of many a sexual fantasy. Their popularity knows no bounds.


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Yes, "unicorn" is a problematic term for a person who s a couple for a threesome they're a person, not a sex toy or prop. But the title gets one thing right: Like unicorns, enthusiastic guest stars in couples' sexual adventures are hard to find. I refuse to accept that unicorns do not exist at all.

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Hot threesomes happen, but they take preparation and communication, and not everyone is ready to successfully venture into the mystical land of group sex. For all those in relationships considering having a threesome, here are six things to know before you dive in.

You could see a couples therapist.

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You could carve out a night for absolutely nothing except an oral-sex marathon. Actually, maybe do that no matter how good your sex life is.

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What you shouldn't do is expect a new sexual experience to magically solve your problems. David Ortmann, a San-Francisco- and Manhattan-based psychotherapist and sex therapist, says couples who turn to threesomes often do so in an effort to put a Band-Aid on unresolved intimacy issues. When the third leaves, your intimacy issues will still be there.

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Does the third get to spend the night? Does the third want to spend the night?

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Have you discussed what you want out of the group sex, both sexually and emotionally? Do you have a safe word?

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You should. Are you tired of reading these questions? These moments happen, but one way to make it less likely anyone will feel extraneous is to meet a potential third in a non-sexual setting before inviting them into your bed.

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Once I convinced my ex-boyfriend to go on a date with me and another woman with the goal of facilitating a threesome. We matched with a woman on Tinder who accepted our invitation for drinks. My ex and this woman vibed, and while I liked her as a person, there was no chemistry between us.

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Safer sex devices, such as condoms and dental dams, are crucial in a threesome. Your souvenirs of the experience should be hot memories, not STIs or unintended pregnancy. How about toys? And P. Once my traveling ex-boyfriend said it was cool if I dated other people while he was out of town with the sneaky hope I would find a third for when he got home. He and I broke up, and the woman I met on Tinder while he was away had hot sex on our own and eventually became best friends. Hey, he said I could date and I took him at his word.

It completely changed our relationship. . . for the better

If you are both in pursuit of hot sex via a threesome, great. The third could leave with a desire to see one or both of you again, or your partner could want more and end up hitting up the third on the DL — when you open a sexual door, emotions may creep in too. In my experience, locking eyes with your partner as they penetrate your new friend from behind while said friend goes down on you is about as sexy as Earthling existence gets.

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Threesomes can be enticing and exciting, and you and your partner could both really like the experience: You may want to integrate it into your regular sex life or consider even dating a third person. Celebrity Fashion Video. A threesome will not "fix" your relationship.

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Your pre-threesome communication with your partners should be exhaustive. A threesome will likely change your dynamic with your partner. Keywords threesome sex advice sex relationships.