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She awoke from her dream - aroused. Bree had been dreaming of her new purchase from the night before. Saturday evening she had sat drinking a bottle of wine and surfed the net for something to spoil herself with. Since breaking up with her boyfriend Bree had been feeling increasingly horny with every passing day.

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Years old 34
What is my ethnicity: Swedish
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I let my roommate borrow my car and while he was gone me and my girlfriend went to my room to have sex.

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I thought it would be fun to put her in handcuffs. After we were done I remembered the key to the handcuffs was attached to my car keys. She sat on my bed handcuffed for a couple hours. I had a fleshlight in college. I bought into the hype and in my sex crazed fervor I bought one. So after washing it out I let it dry in my bathroom. About a month later he left his sharing on in itunes. I went through his music with his permission and found his audio porn. Stuff he would just listen to.

We agreed to not mention either ones mistakes to anyone else.

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I always do an emergency clean the day that I need to pick him up and before a lady-friend comes over, so I got in the habit of leaving my fap enhancement device on the kitchen counter after cleaning. Buddy comes over to hang out. For a good hour or two me and him are in and out of the kitchen grabbing beers, apparently not noticing this massive thing just sitting out on the kitchen counter.

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Finally, he goes to use the sink. I encouraged him to buy one and stowed it away. Now everyone in our group of friends knows I fuck latex. This is way more brutal than anything else in this thread but one time I tried to masturbate with the handle of a hairbrush and forgot to clean it off. So then she accused me of stealing her volumizing gel. Drama ensued.

Eventually I found a sample of hairspray that i told her I had been using so that stopped the accusations. I got a new suction cup dildo and was testing it out just randomly attaching it to things… not fucking it. I finally get to the bathroom and story I tried to take it back off the wall, the tile came with it! Apparently it was some old grout. Anyways, I had to tell my landlord. His version of the story is I was shaving and it all collapsed. Silver lining is he remodeled the whole bathroom and for the remainder of my time in that house I had a dildo fancy master bathroom to myself.

I finally decided that I could put the vibrator in my Trivial Pursuit game, and then place it in box with other board games. I was so proud of that idea. I was mortified. Live with parents, thought I locked door. Had on my prettiest satin baby doll lingerie with matching G-string around my knees while riding a large dildo that looked very realistic.

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I got the cover on me fast enough to hide the dildo in my ass but the straps of the lingerie and a hint of the lace on the chest was visible and my mom walked out of the room. My boyfriend and I were in bed watching a movie and I went to the kitchen to get us some ice cream. I pulled out some toppings and saw the Marshmallow Fluff. I dildo a large glob to a story and warmed it in the microwave.

I brought the bowl of Fluff brutal into the bedroom, and sat on the bed. He laughed and grabbed the bowl… and we wrestled around the bed and then the floor, smearing ourselves with warm Fluff. I was on butt naked on the carpet with him on top of me when we realized that the Fluff had quickly hardened.

He tried to pull up off of me, but his chest hairs were stuck to my boobs. We ended up with bright red welts, and Fluff stuck everywhere. Painfully funny. My ex and I once came upon a weird sex toy that was essentially 2 balls with a rope attached.

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The concept of it was to put one ball in the girl and then pull it out and its supposed to give a good sensation. So we thought, hell why not lets try it. After doing it a few times I accidentally managed to get both of the balls stuck in her and spent the next 5 minutes trying to get them out with my fingers. I experimented with all kinds of stuff like putting things up my ass and or attempting to self suck eventually that worked. One day I was rummaging through the bathroom drawer and I found an odd syringe that had a roughly perfect size opening at the end of it for my junk.

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I had a genius idea. I stuffed myself in to the tip of it and pulled the other end and discovered a make shift penis pump. I did this a few times and was feeling pretty good and hard. It felt great. I was getting eager to blow my load so I extracted my junk to beat off.

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This is when I discover that my penis was covered in a mega hickey. At the time I had no idea what it was. That hickey lasted for quite a of days. I was so fucking scared.

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I panicked and I had nobody to talk to about it. I was way to embarrassed to tell my folks. I washed the syringe and put it where I found it only to discover later on that it was in fact a breast pump. It was so awkward when I realized what that was really for and how I defiled it. She had a drawer full of sex toys. She had a work term and a term off school, so gone effectively 8 months. The drawer stayed as it was when we left it. It looks like a small pool of something weird and the bottom of the vibrator felt wet.

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So we tossed it, washed our hands. My guess is that the acid ate away at the bottom of the lube that was beside it.

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Cause she picked the bottle up, gave it a rinse under the sink, towelled it off. Then when she finally gave it a mighty squeeze during action time, the entire back blew off of the bottle and hit her in the face, and it was raining lube not as glorious as it sounds.

He was home alone and somehow the suction of it, it got stuck on his dick. He was panicking and did not know what to do.

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In some bright idea of a moment, he called me and was screaming about the situation. I think because I lived around the corner from him and he said I was the only person close by that he could trust. I head over to his place, and walk into his house. He had a towel around his waist and when he took it off, I saw the pink silicone thing attached to his dick.

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Laughing ensued for about 5 minutes. Now we had to think what to do.

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We tried ice, more lube, this suction was stuck. There was supposed to be a hole on the other end of the thing to prevent the vacuum from happening, but that hole was not there. This was over 10 years ago…I still bust his chops about it. My ex wanted to try the electro-p so we got going, stick the p on, and turn it on.

All was goin well she was enjoying her self, the sex was great. But, I guess it was a little too stimulating because right when she came she peed all down my lap. I was with my GF and we lost a little vibrator inside her, and it was on.